In Out Black

An Eve trying to cope with reality loss right after The Erasure.

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Shhhhhrrrr shshhhshhssrrrrr
rip apart tear up
wood black tip can write
on scrap scratch words
why how
thoughts thoughts thoughts are words are thoughts shall stay
when i think i am here feeling is possible pain pain looking around
pain pain ugly is ugly not looking around

close eyes see pictures colors nice light nice so so want there to be there
why here why why why why why

who are me the words are I am them the thoughts the pictures are me
this happened to me with me in it yes
now here so dark damp ugly horror fear horror

this seems to be here i see this and that it was always here and nothing
looks like before all ugly horror all strange all wrong where when how how how

thoughts still loud too loud too many pictures again pain again again pain

breathe breath yes yes in out yes
yes
in
out

Eyes shut tight tight press press black i see
in out in out press press black i see
picture come back catch me make me pain pain pictures

STOP NO
breathe touch floor

found this
hard rough edge smooth very here thumb goes over remember
thumb was here before remember smooth here rough here
NO pictures NO NO just smooth it is rub smooth feel
in out smooth in out smooth in out smooth
finger here rough around here rough then

in out smooth in out smooth no pictures black and in out smooth yes
this can be now in out in out smooth in out in out smooth
thumb again me again then gone to black and smooth
in out smooth
in out
black